Monday, November 4, 2013

I’m in love....... again!


  
My darling little Sam turned 10 months today.  Tenderly I fix my eyes on him ……my little babe who, ten months ago, lay in my arms….serene…..eyes shut tight..…grimacing hard at the light that shown.....  With the passing days, he'd looked up languorously ..... and into my face.......... gifting me with oodles of toothless smiles…making me want to swoon, with joy untold…..!

I remember the days, I'd watched expectantly with fingers crossed and with growing awe….. as he learnt to hold up his head………rolled over (all by himself..…!)….and slowly and steadily pulled himself  to sit …. again by himself (wow!).  Then with practiced ease, he went about maneuvering  himself around as he crawled about …..and then one fine day, he stood up..…. swaying on his cute podgy legs, and presented me with a victorious smile, that would beat the greatest mountaineer.....!
           
            Now, he walks about grabbing onto chairs and tables. I sense within me…. waves of immense pleasure and pride, that every mother would experience…watching her little one, toddling out to take on the world.  Oh there…..he falls and hurts himself…! ….My heart lurches, as I cry from within…. why oh why……should my baby suffer?  My dear little sweetheart...... I wish I could stack all happiness on earth at his little feet! Swooping down, I lift him off his feet and smother him with kisses…..

            I feast my eyes on his tiny mop of hair,.... the cute limpid eyes,....the stubby nose,...the oh the little fingers and toes, that have grown over the months,….yet sooo tender!  I count the creases on his podgy hands and legs, wishing they would never fade out.......  His baby talk….music to my ears, churns up immense pleasure, far away in the depths of my heart.  

            There he smiles, showing the glimmer of some precious pearly white teeth!  He nibbles at my fingers…... and I squeal in mock pain, while he shakes with merry laughter!  I gather him into my arms, and thank God for my little bundle of joy.

            I remember my dear Mom and Dad, with deep love and fondness.  Not that I remember the days of my babyhood.  Yet I sense within me, the oceans of love that had flooded me then… and the little seed of love they put within me.  It’s grown today, emitting fragrance unlimited, which I now lavish on my babe.  I love my Mom and Dad for that rare gift they bestowed on me then.  That gift, I shall cherish, and bequeath to my son…and he shall carry on the legacy, so preciously rare among today’s mankind. 

            Night falls.  I watch his serene face break into an angelic smile, as he drifts off into the land of nods.  I smother him with tender kisses…wanting to hold him close to me forever….

……I’m in love once again….!


20 Jan 1993

My rendezvous with spectacles

     S
pectacles…eeeek!  They indeed make a queer spectacle of you.  Oh how I hated them!  But of course, when the time comes, one has to put up with the detestable things. That’s where the story begins…

            I grew up basking in the glory of no specs in the family.  Even at 80, my great aunt would read without them.  Most often I'd find myself magnanimously helping the less fortunate with deciphering the seemingly invisible letters.  Then, I came across the adage, “Boys don’t make passes at girls, who wear glasses”, and once more felt elated about promising (rosy) days to come!  I promptly fell in love, and married a guy who, to my utter despair, wore glasses just a year after we tied the knot!  I swallowed my pride, and carried on with the vestiges of its waning bits.

Reaching 40, I was forced to visit the eye specialist, with a strange allergy of my eyes.  My near and distant vision was just perfect.  But the allergy bothered me all along.  All local and systemic medications proved futile, and the final verdict came – I was to wear tainted plain glasses, to protect my dust and photo-sensitive eyes!  Grrr!  I rushed about frantically seeking a second, a third and a fourth opinion.  But none could rule out the verdict.  At last, with heavy legs, I made my way to the most detested ‘place’ and after trying out almost all of the frames, settled for one (sic) that would salvage my sinking personality.

So one dull day (though the sun shone bright, I failed to see anything great about it), I crept out with the offending stuff perched on my nose.  “Good morning Madam” It was the guard at the gate, clicking to his heels as he proudly saluted me……Saluted me??  I couldn’t digest it! This bloke had always looked the other way when anyone passed by.  Was he mocking at me?  Anyhow putting on a wan smile, I returned the salute and cautiously walked on.   Soon came many more real and respectful greetings.  I began to feel at ease and my sinking spirits began to lift…

Days passed.  A new facet of my personality began to dawn on me.  The offending spectacles had added a feather to my drooping cap!  I seem to have been added to the mature and respectable category of homo sapiens.  Today I have the vigour and vitality that I never knew I possessed.  I feel more confident.  I’m taken more seriously and what more, my students and colleagues and even my seniors think twice before acting ‘funny’ with me!  

Hey, now where did I leave my wonderful glasses?  To think that I’d detested these lovely things in those days!  Hats off to my precious glasses! 


21 Jun 1996

Sam and I

I
t was a bright sunny morning.  People bustled about in the usual way, chirping, chattering,... exchanging pleasantries.  I groaned hard, trying to fight the pain that arose… I do not know from where.  My throat was parched,.. lips dry.  My left hand ached with the intra-venous needle sticking into it. Through the pain, I waited eagerly....my eyes scanning the corridor for their arrival.  Where were they?  How much more to wait?  The pain was soo excruciating………!

Footsteps in the distance……. Moving closer to me?  And then they came,.. with my little Sam.   I feasted my eyes on him for the first time,…taking in everything…….his eyes tightly shut.... a frown at having been disturbed...... the little hands ….palms tightly clenched.  Something warm turned within me…a surge of happiness.  Here at last was my bundle of joy!  Reaching out, I touched  him with my free right hand… did he smile?  Oh, my imagination.  The mother in me cried out, “My son!”  I looked at his father standing by, and said within… “This is our love, dearest…in person”.  I wonder if he heard.

            It took another two days to really have a good look at our baby.  His eyes were shut tight, a cute little nose, a generous mouth, and a cute little chin.  The jet black hair on his head stood on end, and my gentle caressing wouldn’t make them lie down.  He had long fingers, delicate and artistic.  As I tenderly examined them, he uttered a sudden cry of protest and pulled away......sticking them into his mouth... sucking vigorously.  He continued to squirm and appeared disturbed.  Feeling cold?.......uneasy?  I lifted him gingerly into my lap… and the angel comfortably nestled close and went off to sleep!

            Each post operative day thereafter, became a pleasure…with us getting to know one another more and more.  The pains of surgery waned off just as easily.  There were difficult times… like the ‘elf’ wouldn’t let go off the feeds even after more than 2 hrs, and would  give out the loudest bawl ever when I tried to get him off.  On such occasions, I simply wished for some sleep.  Then I’d try self composed lullabies, which had a magical effect and sent the little one to the land of nods!  I’d then soon shut my eyes to grab those precious 2 hours of sleep, before my little Sam woke up to his next meal……………….  Snooooooooooze……




12 Apr 1992




IF WISHES CAME TRUE!! 


Terry was a gentle child. But he was also naughty and lazy like many other children his age. Mrs Robins, his mother loved him a lot. She gave him whatever he asked for. She would not scold him or beat him for anything, as she wanted Terry to learn the good things in life in a nice way. Thus, he grew up enjoying the best things in life, but he also grew lazier and naughtier. Mrs Robins would try to coax him to wake up on time for school, to eat his food on time and to keep his room neat and tidy. But he would simply say, “Yes Mamma”, and run away to play. His mother didn’t know just what to do with him. 

One day she told him, “Terry, you are now 8 years old. You should start doing your home work on time and to keep your room clean…” Before she could finish, Terry cried out irritably, “Mamma, why should children do all the work? Why should we human beings have so much work to do? I wish I could just sleep and sleep, and just play and play. We must have no School to go to and no home work to do…” Mrs Robins laughed, “Darling, if we never did any work and just lazed around, then we would not be human beings anymore. And look, if you study well and work hard, you will become a great man some day!” 

But Terry would have none of that. He looked longingly at the sparrows chirping in the balcony, and said, “How I wish I was a sparrow…...” He got excited at the thought, “Oh! I could just fly about in the sky,.....no school, no home works, and what more, no rooms to keep tidy. Wow! Mamma, isn’t that a great idea? Mamma, I want to be a sparrow……… oh any bird. Is that possible? Mrs Robns laughed again. She simply loved talking to her little son. It thrilled her to trek into the adventurous world, her son often led her into. So she said, “Well, you could ask God.” Then she frowned hard, “ But I wouldn’t like to kiss a sparrow to sleep, or to pack a lunch box for a little sparrow ha ..ha..ha” Terry rolled his eyes, “ But Mamma, I told you sparrows don’t go to School”, and off he ran to play.
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Now, there was a little sparrow called Jerry. He lived with his two brothers and two sisters in a nest outside Terry’s room, in the corner of his balcony. Jerry was fed up of lying crammed up in the little nest, along with four of his siblings. There was never a moment of peace what with his siblings poking around and ‘cheeping’ away all the time. He often peeped into Terry’s luxurious room through the window. He longed to bounce in his downy bed at least once. He also envied Terry’s wardrobe and his new fifteen geared red bicycle. He wished he could play a game on Terry’s computer. Most of all, he wished he could dine at a table like Terry’s, and go to School, so he could become a great man someday (like Terry’s mother often told him). He wouldn’t mind doing any amount of home work (whatever that was!). As he listened to both Mamma and son talking as usual, he started all of a sudden. What did Mrs Robins say?.... “If you ask God, you could become something else?” Yes! that was the answer to his questions. Jerry decided to pray hard to make him human. If God could answer Terry’s prayers, he would also listen to Jerry. 
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That night, Terry and his mother said their daily prayers. At the end of the prayers, Terry secretly made a special prayer to make him a sparrow! Outside his room, in the balcony, Jerry and his siblings said their prayers in their nest, and in the end, Jerry made a secret prayer to make him human! Mrs Robins tucked her son in bed and covered him with blankets. She then kissed him Good Night and smiling at her sleeping son, went away to her room. Outside in the balcony, Jerry struggled with his siblings to snuggle under his mothers wings, for it was a cold night.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Terry struggled in his sleep. Something was poking him. What was wrong? He opened his eyes in annoyance. He would tell his Mamma about those irritable thing in his blankets, and even tell her to tidy his bed properly. Hey! what was this? Some tiny birds were sitting around him! And where on earth was he? In a tiny bird’s nest? Oh rubbish. He was dreaming. He turned round to take another nap. Just then something ‘cheeped’, “Jerry, don’t push me like that. I’m falling over Tim.” Terry sat bolt upright, “Goodness me ! What am I doing in this bird’s nest?” Then he shouted, “Listen you Tim, or whatever you are, I am Terry, and not Jerry. And stop poking me in my ribs. It hurts. And do be kind enough to step out of my bed.” “Cheep..sheep…cheep, the little bird laughed. Mamma, here’s Jerry once again on a dream boat. He thinks he is Terry”. That’s when he noticed the mother sparrow sitting over them. She lovingly tweaked his chest with her beak chirping,” Jerry, now be good to your brother. I’ll fly around and get some grub for you.” Terry couldn’t believe his eyes. 

He looked at his tiny body covered with grey and brown feathers like the four other tiny birds with whom he shared his nest. His nest..did he say? He opened his mouth to call his Mamma. But all he could utter was ‘cheep’-‘cheep’. He looked across the window…..his bedroom window and saw his Mamma pulling down the blankets of his bed, calling out as usual,” Terry darling, wake up! It’s 6 in the morning. Go brush your teeth.” It was Mrs Robins going about her usual routine in the morning. A little boy, who looked like him slowly moved under the blankets. He opened his dreamy eyes and said, “Good Morning Mamma”. His mother kissed him as she enveloped him in a warm hug, and led him to the bathroom. 

That was when a shocking truth dawned on Terry. He was no longer a boy. He was a little bird! How on earth did this happen? He looked for his hands, his pajamas, his bed. But all he saw were feathers, twigs and bird droppings. Yyuk…. Terry wanted to puke! What a dirty nest! His mother came to the balcony to hang some clothes. Terry climbed over Tim and peeping out of the nest cried out, “Mamma, I’m your Terry. Please take me out of this horrible nest”. But Mrs Robins finished her work and went inside. Terry and Tim stumbled into the bottom of the nest. He heard a strangled ‘cheep’ from Tim, as he regained his balance. Another of the tiny birds scrambled up to him and angrily said, “Jerry, when will you stop calling your own home dirty and wishing you were human?”. It was Julie, as he learned later, the kindest of all his siblings in the nest. “Mummy really loves you. Or else she would have pushed you out of our nest”. Terry yelled, “Shut Up!”. 

Terry had begun to feel hungry, and hoped that the mother sparrow would bring some pizzas or cakes for breakfast. Just then a shadow fell over them, as the mother sparrow landed on the nest, and he almost fell out. But the mother sparrow held him with her strong wings. Then he saw a strange sight. The other four birds had put up their heads and opened their beaks towards the mother sparrow. Soon, the mother sparrow deposited a worm each into each of the tiny beaks. This was followed by sounds of munching and crunching as the little birds devoured their breakfast. The mother bird turned to Terry, urging him to open his beak. But he retched at the sight of the wriggling worm that dangled from her beak. Immediately the worm was snatched away by the other tiny birds. 

After this the mother bird chirped, “Children, today I’ll teach you to fly. Follow me.” So saying she flew out and sat on a branch outside the balcony. The four little birds flapped their tiny wings, flew a little, and fell down. The mother bird chirped, “Come on, come on try again.” Again the little birds lifted their wings and flew a little more and plopped into the nest right on Terry’s head. “Ow!”, Terry howled, “You rogues, you have hurt me” He began to hit at them with his wings.. Just then the mother bird came flying and pushing him out of the nest, said,” Fly with me”. Feeling ridiculous, he flapped his wings and… wonder of wonders, he went soaring up with the wind and landed on the branch next to the mother bird! The mother bird pecked him lovingly around his neck, saying,” That’s my boy!” 

Back in the nest, he looked into the window. There was he, no, the bird Jerry, turned human, biting into a cheese pizza. His mother was bringing along a cake for that horrible bird! She really believed that it was he, Terry! He began to sob, but soon his stomach rumbled with hunger pangs. He turned to the mother sparrow. To his surprise, there she was waiting patiently with a juicy worm to drop into his open beak. He shut his eyes and stomached the wriggling stuff. His stomach felt better. Soon, he was enveloped in a warm bird hug, as the mother bird chirped, “You are going to be strong one day”. The mother bird was indeed loving and caring. But all the same, how he missed his own Mamma! 

Hey! there was his real Mamma smiling at him. She dropped something in front of the nest and walked back into the room. Mother bird said, “Come children, Mrs Robins has given us goodies”. He flew out of the nest along with the others and landed on the floor of the balcony. There lay some left over crumbs from the pizza. He picked up as much as he could. They still tasted yummy. Night came, and with it came, cold wind. The mother sparrow dropped some feathers into the nest and made a cozy mattress for all five to snuggle in and then she spread her wings and settled over them. She felt a bit heavy, but Terry at least felt warm, and soon nodded off, even forgetting to pray. 

He woke up in the morning, to the familiar sound of his Mamma calling Jerry to get up. The nest stank of all the bird droppings, but no one seemed to care. The mother bird had gone to get more worms for them. After a breakfast of wriggly worms, they had more flying lessons, in which Terry did best of all. As he flew, he saw Jerry in a smart uniform, go off to School in his red and blue school bus. He had hung Terry’s satchel over his shoulder. Terry choked with sorrow, but felt helpless. More worms and more crumbs. In the afternoon, he saw Jerry return from school. Oh how dirty he looked! He had messed up Terry’s uniform. Mamma was shocked to see Jerry in such a disheveled state. But she soon gave him a bath and after lunch, she settled him to do his homework. But Jerry would have none of it. He said, “I want to go to play on the cycle”. Mamma said, “Terry dear, finish your homework first, and then you may go out to play”. But Jerry simply yelled back at her, “Don’t call me Terry, I am Jerry. And I don’t want to do any home work or whatever you may call it”. 

Terry was pained to see the look of hurt on his mother’s face. How could some chit of a bird be so rude to his dear Mamma! If only he could give him a good thrashing! Suddenly he stopped to think, “Hadn’t he also been uncaring and rude towards his Mamma, even though she had loved him always? He also had disliked going to school, and most of all, doing his homework.”. He peeped into the room that had once been his. It looked so untidy. Clothes and towels were strewn all over. Some books lay on the floor. Oh, that was his favourite book of bed time stories! A little tear drop rolled out of his eyes. Tim cried out, “Jerry, don’t pee on me”. He quickly wiped his eyes. The mother sparrow looked lovingly at her son Jerry in the nest. She knew something was troubling him, but she also knew that time would take care of all that. She wrapped him more closely in her wings.

Days passed. Terry could see from his nest that Jerry was not at all pleased to be human. He had a foul temper and talked rudely to his Mamma. Mrs Robins was also losing patience with her incorrigible son. Terry tried to be good, but life in the nest and the diet of worms and crumbs was making him sick. The mother sparrow grew concerned about the failing health of her son. 

It was a clear sky. The round moon sailed through the clouds. Terry gazed up into the night sky and saw the stars twinkling. He suddenly remembered his Mamma’s words, “God in heaven listens to little children’s prayers…” He shut his eyes and prayed, “Dear God, hope you understand a bird’s language. I am actually Terry. Of course you know that, for you are God. I miss my Mamma very much. I promise I’ll be good and obedient to my Mamma. I will also do my home work and keep my room neat and tidy. Please please make me a boy as I was, once again…” Inside the room, from within the blankets’ another prayer rose heavenward, “God, I am Jerry. I am fed up of life as a little boy. I want to be back in my cozy nest with my brothers and sisters. I also want to be free from all the School work and the pains of tidying up my room every day. Please God…..” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Terry woke up in the morning to find himself huddled within the folds of a warm blanket….. and to the sound of chirping of sparrows in the balcony. Excited, he flung aside his blankets and jumped out of his bed. It was ten minutes to six in the morning. An alarm went off in the next bedroom. Terry ran to his Mamma’s room, and threw himself on her as she was about to get out of bed. He hugged her and said, “Good Morning Mamma!” “Good Morning darling! Hey Terry, You at this hour? What happened? Had a bad dream? Oh my poor child. I was a bit tough on you last night”. She held him in her lap and rocked him. “No Mamma. I’m just fine. I did have a bad dream. But it’s all over. Now I’ll be a good boy. I shall do all my homework on time and I’ll also keep my room tidy”. Terry assured his mother. 

He bustled about getting ready for School. Oh!, what a pleasure it was to move about in his own room, …to wear clean clothes …and to eat the best food on earth!. Just then he caught a whiff of cheese sandwiches. His mother called him for breakfast. “Any worms in here?” Terry asked turning the sandwiches in his little hands. “Worms?”, his mother frowned hard, “Where did you ever get such a thought?”. “Oh just a thought”, said Terry attacking the sandwiches with ravenous appetite, as his mother looked on wonderstruck. The School bus left with the children and Terry. Mrs Robins bustled about her work in the house, as she mused, “Oh these children. He was simply unmanageable 3 days ago, and now he turns up as pure as a saint! She shook her head in amazement. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There after Mrs Robins did not have any trying times with her son. He had turned a new leaf for good. He had become responsible and disciplined. His teachers praised him for his good work at school. They appreciated Mrs Robins for bringing him up so well! Terry had also become kind with the birds in the balcony. Mrs. Robins was delighted to see him share his snacks with the little birds. What more, she was amused to hear him call them by cute names, - Jerry, Tim, Joe, Susie and Julie! He confided in her that Julie was his favourite. Mrs Robins was assured at last that her son was going to be a great man one day!

Mamma sparrow and her little birds were also greatly impressed with Jerry’s new behaviour. He no longer wanted to be Terry or any other human being. He had also become very kind with his siblings. Mamma sparrow called out, “Come children, time to fly off”, and soared into the sky, followed by her grown up children. This time they were headed for newer pastures!.

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