Sam and I

I

t was a bright sunny morning.  People bustled about in the usual way, chirping, chattering,... exchanging pleasantries.  I groaned hard, trying to fight the pain that arose… I do not know from where.  My throat was parched,.. lips dry.  My left hand ached with the intra-venous needle sticking into it. Through the pain, I waited eagerly....my eyes scanning the corridor for their arrival.  Where were they?  How much more to wait?  The pain was soo excruciating………!

Footsteps in the distance……. Moving closer to me?  And then they came,.. with my little Sam.   I feasted my eyes on him for the first time,…taking in everything…….his eyes tightly shut.... a frown at having been disturbed...... the little hands ….palms tightly clenched.  Something warm turned within me…a surge of happiness.  Here at last was my bundle of joy!  Reaching out, I touched  him with my free right hand… did he smile?  Oh, my imagination.  The mother in me cried out, “My son!”  I looked at his father standing by, and said within… “This is our love, dearest…in person”.  I wonder if he heard.

            It took another two days to really have a good look at our baby.  His eyes were shut tight, a cute little nose, a generous mouth, and a cute little chin.  The jet black hair on his head stood on end, and my gentle caressing wouldn’t make them lie down.  He had long fingers, delicate and artistic.  As I tenderly examined them, he uttered a sudden cry of protest and pulled away......sticking them into his mouth... sucking vigorously.  He continued to squirm and appeared disturbed.  Feeling cold?.......uneasy?  I lifted him gingerly into my lap… and the angel comfortably nestled close and went off to sleep!

            Each post operative day thereafter, became a pleasure…with us getting to know one another more and more.  The pains of surgery waned off just as easily.  There were difficult times… like the ‘elf’ wouldn’t let go off the feeds even after more than 2 hrs, and would  give out the loudest bawl ever when I tried to get him off.  On such occasions, I simply wished for some sleep.  Then I’d try self composed lullabies, which had a magical effect and sent the little one to the land of nods!  I’d then soon shut my eyes to grab those precious 2 hours of sleep, before my little Sam woke up to his next meal……………….  Snooooooooooze……

12 Apr 1992